Thursday, September 4, 2008

The paradox of getting help

I am a massive procrastinator. Being depressed makes me procrastinate even more, sometimes out of laziness, sometimes out of tiredness, and sometimes out of sheer necessity. As in I just can't do ANYTHING. Sheer necessity reminds me of the BARE NECESSITIES, THE BEAR NECESSITIES, DOO DOO DOO, (from The Jungle Book!)Anyway, its just that the worse I am, the more that I need help, the more I feel incapable of getting out of bed and actively seeking it. I haven't been taking my happy pills either. I feel like I've been living in a daze, in oblivion, which is a god damned stupid thing to be doing when I have the HSC - as in the exams my life and university and scholarships depends on IN LESS THAN 6 WEEKS! AAAH!

So basically I have left it DISGUSTINGLY LONG without seeking help. As in a psychologist. In a previous post I explained how the first psychologists I contacted went down the drain, and now I guess I go to the freaking GP again and get a different referral, or I call the psychologists clinic, tell them off, and ask for another appointment with the stipulation that they only ring my mobile number, and don't disclose any more medical information to anyone but me!

1 comment:

Marissa Miller said...

I'm a procrastinator too. You procrastinate then get depressed and because you're depressed, you procrastinate some more. It's a vicious cycle that's hard to get out of.