I've had a huge, embarassing, horrific debating failure. I suck so badly and am so shit. No I'm not. Argh. I want to prove myself, that I am better than what I've shown. I have a chance tomorrow night, but there is pressure and I have to make sure it makes me perform better rather than worse. I am so just empty. There's no other word for it. I don't feel intensely sad or angry, just empty inside, with a dull ache. I just wish I could be good enough, the best.