I am not ok

I am alone. This is stupid. I want it to end. I am so sick of this life. I am sick of trying. A nondepressed, skinnier person is always going to be more attractive, better liked, better appreciated, accepted as a best friend, and won't lose their best friends like I do. It's not fair. I am kind of smart and I have really good taste and aesthetics and I try real hard and I care so much and I look real nice too if I try to and then it just doesn't matter and I have a headache. I have no one.